mothers day

Sunday, March 21, 2010

If Ever I start to feel better

I've been gonna write this post for weeks but I haven't felt good for weeks and so it keeps getting put on the back burner.

There are a couple of changes that I am thinking of instigating so I want to put them out there for all of you to read and think and pray about.

#1 - due to the fact that within the next year Ed is going to be retiring we are actually thinking about being a little bit more thrifty. Therefore I am going to be cutting down the amount of money I spend on birthday presents to about $10-15 per adult each year. The grandkids will get a little more - $25 each since the family keeps adding a couple more of em each year. I love to buy gifts ...but I have to learn to spend less. Sorry

#2 - Because I have been either out of town or SICK I have missed our family get-to-gethers for birthdays so far this year. I apologize to Glenn and Melinda so far...however, again, due to the size of the family getting together is getting somewhat out of hand.

I have been contemplating different things that we could do and the idea that keeps coming back and back in my mind is having Sunday groupings of Ed and I and a couple of the kids and their families at a time. In the summer time having the whole family over at one time is fine cause there is lots of room to spread out but in the cold weather or rainy weather we are sitting on top of each other trying to listen to five conversations at one time.

So how about if I pull two names out of a hat and call them up and say you and yours are invited to dinner at grandma's house on either a saturday or a sunday afternoon. If that date is not a good date for one of the families then we would put your name back in the hat and invite someone else. That way we could have a much calmer relaxed visit with all of you over a period of a couple of months.

What do you think? Let me know. I really wanted to do this for Glenn and Melinda since they had birthdays in February but we were gone the first half of Feb and I started getting sick the first part of March and I'm still sick. I wouldn't just do birthday combinations but to me that was a good way to start it. Once I got sick the last thing I have wanted to think about was having people come over so I could cook for them - unless of course you want to have a cup of spearmint tea and a piece of toast with me!!! Then come on over.

I love you all - I know that we love each other and want to see and visit and talk to each other and I am trying to figure out a way to do that that doesn't drive us all batty.

with all my love


ps - Easter is coming up and Grandpa Merritt is going to have his annual easter egg hunt in his back yard on Saturday April 3 at 1 pm. Shawn has agreed to take family group pictures to replace the pictures on Grandpa Merritts walls with some up to date pictures - for Instance, Jeff and Teresa and Skye and Katy as a group - Tonya and Brett just had a new family portrait done but it is already a year old - another one would be fun and we could coordinate the sizes of the pictures. In my family Kelly and Jamie are the most up to date but my grandkid pictures need to be done individually - for MY wall. So lets all plan on showing up looking pretty and get some good pictures taken that day. We are even trying to figure out how to photoshop a picture of Cade into the group picture!! Whatever works!!


Kristanne said...

Well here are our thoughts. First We don't mind foregoing gifts. Not to be rude, but there is little to nothing that you can get for 10-15 dollars, unless it is just cash. We would rather go without than get a "cheap," not cheap gift. I can't help but think of some of the things Grandma got us, and we loved the thought, but we never kept a one because they were mostly garbage. And that just ends up being a waste of money anyway. Homemade is something else, and has a lot more value to it.

As for getting together, in our family we all love the big noisy get together. The kids all commented, as well as Shawn, that they don't want them to end. It is usually the only time we get to see the rest of the family.

One of the things we do in the Crittenden family to cut down on the work for one person, is we each take turns hosting it. Once it is at Mom's, then Lill's, Alicyn's, Char's and My house. The person who is hosting is in charge of the menu and assigns as evenly as possible the things to be brought. They also provide all the paper goods. That way everyone gets a turn helping out with the cost and also the meals are divided up. Some of the things we have eaten are taco's were everyone brings something to put on the taco. Another is loaded baked potatoes, and also a Bring your own meat, with the rest divvied out. Sometimes because of time schedules it is just ice-cream and cake.

Also if the space is the issue, I don't mind people coming to my house. We would rather see the whole family at birthday's and holidays than only a few times a year. As it is we haven't seen any of the family since Christmas, (unless they came to open meeting for Makae) and we really miss them.

We don't mind just coming over with the family once in a while to visit and it being small, but we really don't want to see the family parties go away.
I told Shawn he should write this, but he says I have been in the family about as long as Kecia and Kelly so I can say my piece!

Jamie said...

I agree with Kris as far as presents go. Cash is always good, too. That way you won't have to worry about buying anything.

We don't want the big family get togethers to go away either (even though the small dinners sound fun, but we don't want you to get too stressed out). Even though the big parties can get loud and crazy sometimes, it's good to see everyone. We don't get together every month so we can take turns on what we bring, etc. I am glad Kris volunteered their place because it's just the right size and we can send kiddo's down to the basement or outside if it gets too crazy. (I wish I had a basement!)

As far as the Easter thing goes, Kelly has to work that Saturday. So it will be just twinners and I at Grandpa's.

Melinda said...

I'm fine with foregoing birthday gifts for adults completely. I gave up on birthdays many years before I joined the Willdens, and I am perfectly happy without anything special for my birthday.

I get a little overwhelmed at the whole-family gatherings when the weather keeps everyone indoors. I prefer smaller groups because then you can actually have a conversation. I like the big gatherings on major holidays (like Christmas, Easter, the 4th of July parade). But I have no desire to host a whole-family party, unless we meet at the park near our house. I like the idea of having a couple families get together at a time. Don't get me wrong - I love you all, and I do enjoy seeing everyone at the same time, but I like smaller groups better.

Ira said...

I don't know if this will come as much of a surprise, but I agree with Melinda. My family, got together on big holidays and I feel like we treasured the time more. My mother always said that if you have Ice Cream every night it's not a TREAT anymore. My family and I have really enjoyed the smaller get togethers, being able to talk without shouting or interruptions. Susan you know how I feel. I really enjoyed our talk last month. I really never thought that it could ever happen, but I feel like we got a lot accomplished face to face with love and respect. You really have no idea how happy I was with your visit.

Mauri said...

I guess I need to add my thoughts as well. I think mom loves to give gifts, I think it is one of her main love languages and I don't want to take that away from her...and I think for $15 she can be pretty creative. If mom doesn't mind foregoing gifts altogether, then that's fine with me, although I'd rather get something small and filled with love, then nothing at all. Grandma got CHEAP gifts, like from the dollar store cheap. Mom is not like that. Cute clothes, dvds, cd's, all kinds of things, even gift cards come in $10 and $15 denominations.
I am with mom, Ira, and Melinda on the crazy group gatherings. As much as I like to see everyone, it gets to be a bit much. Some people are not able to tune things out easily and it makes for a very stressful evening for them.
If there were some way we could keep the kids quiet and learn to have conversations as a group rather than 5 at once, then maybe it could work, but I don't see that happening- old habits die hard.

Kecia said...

Maybe we could compromise and do quarterly parties? I have a lot of friends that have even bigger families than ours and they take turns planning activities, rather than parties. They usually meet at a park or reserve a community building or church. Then they have game nights, murder mysteries, dances, silly contests, etc. Just fun things but the parties are a little more structured and planned so that there is something for everyone to do. I agree that the family parties are loud and big and sometimes stressful, and I would be okay doing away with them, but it is the only time that I get to see everyone. Small dinner parties would mean I'd get to see every one just a couple times a year, and that is too long!! So quarterly parties (the dinner parties still sound like a great idea) where one person plans/coordinates the meal (like Kris said) and when we can we meet at a park or outside.